I have all of these unresolved problems inside me that only come out in angry grunts like a confused animal wounded in the woods
I'm turning 20 but I'm drowning in excess teenage angst, complaints filling up my cup and flowing over the surface
Tragic kingdom, morning view, under the bridge and the time mtv recorded nirvana unplugged struck and stuck to the 15 year old inside me, still screaming to be heard by anyone who will listen
In the way of two inch thick black roots in a bleach blonde lesbian hair cut and tight black clothes inappropriate for public high school, eyeliner wings stretching the sides of my face hoping to grow strong enough to fly away
I wish my adult self realized these problems before they sprung out in bewildered groans and spontaneous sobs
I wish I could rewind and playback in slow motion the development of a drinking problem, commitment fears and intimacy issues, mom and dad issues.
Every summer I visit my childhood home and dispel more and more of my old bedroom, pink paint chipping off cheap cracked plaster walls
Sometimes I feel like part of me will always be stuck in that twin sized mattress, creaking over its 15 year warranty
Or part of that lumpy mattress will be stuck in me, in back tension and an empty stare
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