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December 3rd 2016 at 3:41 AM

Higher consciousness is playing a trick on me

Mother Nature is giggling beside the door

Everything is loud unclear buzzing around my mind on roller skates

I'm attracted to myself


I can hear someone in the building; explaining shit to their parents

Whispering in baby voices

"I didn't know, I couldn't know, I'm sorry"


I'm pacing around the bathroom

Etiquette for a princess;

Towel laced around my head

While I stomp around in madness


Paige is a sweet sugarplum fairy

I want to kiss her

Platonic love is taking over my body in an insane way

Like I can only live to love my friends detached and longing wonder


Michael scratched my head today

He said he always wants to touch me

He's the only one who insults me

And always makes me wild


Everything is pale and faded yellow

This is the part of my life I'll Iive in a motel room

I want those walls to talk


Everything is visual

Imagine words as sound body soul images feeling your heartbeat

your eyes wide in and out of your skull

Present

I'm in the moment emotional

Those are the only things I can't plan

In an untidy stack of lists

My good habits are conditioned

Reactions against my nature

There's a dusty part of my head that speaks in country songs

You reminded me of them

I think about my emotions

In a case study for myself

The last few years I haven't read a book because I've been writing one in and of my head trying to figure this shit out


Experiencial knowledge is better than conditioned

Mine can never be undone with natural fruition

I wish I was more present

I'll become my grandfather, a man of few words

He laughs red faced, white teeth when needed

And nothing else

Only nods in agreement, perhaps he's figured life out


But it goes against my instinct


How am I supposed to adapt to the world we built up for ourselves


I'm not in the swing of things


It's your mistake to think I'm not clever

Everything down to my bones was planned to survive


Simple words aren't meaningless


Experiential knowledge breeds wisdom






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