Higher consciousness is playing a trick on me
Mother Nature is giggling beside the door
Everything is loud unclear buzzing around my mind on roller skates
I'm attracted to myself
I can hear someone in the building; explaining shit to their parents
Whispering in baby voices
"I didn't know, I couldn't know, I'm sorry"
I'm pacing around the bathroom
Etiquette for a princess;
Towel laced around my head
While I stomp around in madness
Paige is a sweet sugarplum fairy
I want to kiss her
Platonic love is taking over my body in an insane way
Like I can only live to love my friends detached and longing wonder
Michael scratched my head today
He said he always wants to touch me
He's the only one who insults me
And always makes me wild
Everything is pale and faded yellow
This is the part of my life I'll Iive in a motel room
I want those walls to talk
Everything is visual
Imagine words as sound body soul images feeling your heartbeat
your eyes wide in and out of your skull
Present
I'm in the moment emotional
Those are the only things I can't plan
In an untidy stack of lists
My good habits are conditioned
Reactions against my nature
There's a dusty part of my head that speaks in country songs
You reminded me of them
I think about my emotions
In a case study for myself
The last few years I haven't read a book because I've been writing one in and of my head trying to figure this shit out
Experiencial knowledge is better than conditioned
Mine can never be undone with natural fruition
I wish I was more present
I'll become my grandfather, a man of few words
He laughs red faced, white teeth when needed
And nothing else
Only nods in agreement, perhaps he's figured life out
But it goes against my instinct
How am I supposed to adapt to the world we built up for ourselves
I'm not in the swing of things
It's your mistake to think I'm not clever
Everything down to my bones was planned to survive
Simple words aren't meaningless
Experiential knowledge breeds wisdom
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